Getting Older

All of my friends are older then me. I usually see this as a disadvantage until I really think about it. When you're very young you look forward to getting older so you can go to middle school where you will meet new kids and not stay in the same classroom for every subject. When you're in middle school you can not wait to be older so you can have your first boyfriend. When you get a little older you just want to be in high school already. Freshman year it is all about not being a freshman, you want that senority and respect. Sophomore year you just want to turn 16 so you can get your licence. Junior year you want to ve a senior already and get out of the hick town you're stuck in. Then you want to be 18...free from major rules you have been struggling with your whole high school career, being able to get into most clubs, buying cigarettes and sticks at the gas station even if it's just for the hell of it. Then you want to be 21 so you can go bar hopping and legally drink. I don't really know whats next maybe a few years older so you can be officially done with college and find that career that your parents and teachers have been helping you get since day one. Maybe it's getting married or buying your first house. All that excitment covers the first 25 or so years of your life but then what do you have to look forward to for the next 65 years of your life? Now I am scared to get older. And I hate how the years that should be the best ones of your life (16, 18, 21) are matched with things that bring them down..like for example when youre 16 you get your licence but what do you use it for? To drive back and forth to school. When youre 18 or 21 your busy with work and college so you have to limit yourself on fun. Why can't there be a year where you can do something amazing and you're not allower to work or go to school? I wish that when you turned 21 you could take a year off of everytthing and just enjoy yourself and dedicate that year to crazy partying. I bet if I asked my parents what they would look forward to they would say something like watching you and your brother get older and play sports and what not. That's sweet and all but what if I don't want kids? I would rather spend my hard earned money on expensive vacations for me and my husband or weekly message appointments. That's not shallow, that's a life style decision. I think I can wait to become older now. Driving back and forth to the same job I have been at for 30 years, doing the dishes and laundry that I have done a million times, paying bills, ugh. I am actually depressing myself by writing this right now.