I want to be stunning for homecoming this year. All the years before I have had tennis tournaments that give me fifteen minutes to get ready for the secong biggest highschool dance. My hair always ends up looking like POOP. Not this year though, nope, not happening. I scheduled a hair and makeup appointment already, i'm going all out! My date is a cutie named Jose so we are sure to look sexy. One problem, the dress I ordered doesn't fit. I found a simple yet different dress online that I love. It was pretty expensive (compared to my twenty dollar Homecoming dresses in the past) but as soon as my mom saw it, she agreed it had to be bought. I ordered the dress and about a week and a half later the Fed-Ex man dropped it off. So excited, I went straight to my room and put it on. OMG. I could have flexed and busted out of that dress. Everything was great, except the booty was designed for a model with no butt. Seriously, I am no model. Me and my mother sent it back and ordered the next bigger size. It came in another week later. Of course, it is too big. Whatever, I am just going to have someone else fix it. This will not bring me down though. SENIOR YEAR HOMECOMING LET'S GO!!!!
Good sense of voice here--that is, your voice really comes through. I like that you zeroed in on the moment the dress comes in the mail--this is much more personal than just mentioning why the dress didn't work. And I like that you picked the dance as your one moment, instead of listing a bunch of events you like to do during Homecoming week. I would say, however, that your posts could stand to be a bit longer.Try for 3/4 of a page posted.
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